Have i ever regret of my decisions? Yes of course. There it is, the first one..second one...here comes the third and fourth one...another one.....and many more.
Why do i regret? I did not guard my heart perfectly. Leaking from my deepest little secret hole. It was part of me, inseparable, there is no point regretting. A regret do not turn back time, and as time flies, i will not made a different choice, it would have been the same choice.
No wisdom, not sober minded, no guarding the pure heart, all these is not what i wish for. What the mind think heart thinks differently. What the mind set heart react differently. What the mind decided heart neglect again. Nature couldn't be thrown and it was hated the most.
He is perfect, but i am broken. He gave the peace, and i brought disaster. He kept me save but i search for trouble. All is I to be blamed.
He is too great for me, and i am not worthy. Yes, not worthy.
Time Flies.
I wish i stand firm, fight, protect my love
ones, steadfastly hold on to my faith. Everything goes so wrong in my plan, because i did not trust in my God for everything i hope for. I'm just being selfish and foolish. He was always beside me, why can't i see? I dont understand Him, I dont know my God good enough, i lose to my iniquity. Almost.
Until, today, a passage from bible, ''Vengeance is mine!'' Such a strong word strike me. Everything i did, i fear man, while man cant do me any harm. I shake hands with devils, I run from the One who could strike me down just in any second, and forever. Nothing but foolish to describe myself. Yet Lord, you show me grace, again. Like a father to his daughter, u love me, gave me a real smile out of the bottom of my heart. I feel relieve having you as my Lord God.
Things which sound foolish to others, but Lord, thanks for correcting me again. Even affliction is by the will of God, Lord you have purpose in it. You teaching me a precious lesson. Though i might not understand, but You have promised, man is not faithful while God is faithful. You promise whenever things happen, its for us the best. YES, as time goes by, i understand your love even more.
You give me a direction in my life, You teach me a most important lesson which every soul needed the most, Your loving hand grab me out of my darkness. What else? Nothing else in this world can be comparable with YOU! You are the most precious one for every soul. Thank you for your Justice and Mercy.
I am so not deserve of all these, yet God you gave me an eternal hope. A hope which even angels are excited with. Therefore, no matter how, i will learn from Jesus Christ, even enemies i will give them blessing, cloth them, help them and love them.
Heavenly Father, anything more, u know better than I.
Thanks for being with me always.
It wasn't easy to get out of the old life to change. But if someone has been given the spirit of God, she/he should not be content in the life with sin. Which is born of the flesh is of flesh, and he who born of the spirit is of the spirit.(Galatians 5:17 - For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; an these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish)
Currently, I do not seems to be contend with my old life style. No discipline is the conclude for all. I will strike hard to change, to learn of having a discipline life. For my God is a God which things always get in order too. I desire to imitate my Lord more, more and much more. <3I hate the ''ME'' in disorder, my life could be such a mess.
(1 Corinthians 14:40 - Let all things be done decently and in order)
By looking to the fall of others, it doesn't mean to be looking down on them but to be more alert than ever to guard ourselves. Those in the darkness do not see themselves in the darkness unless light shines into darkness. Darkness hate light because light appeal the nakedness of sin in darkness.
Who am i to judge him/her? For i was once in the same darkness.
That feeling, the kind of life in darkness, i don't wish to go back. By seeing the light, the grace of God, i doesn't want to go back to darkness anymore. That blindness, self-center and proud, it gave me nothing, no satisfaction was enough for me, because they were all so temporary in this world. I may feel warm, being loved, even enjoyment and so called freedom. But if i was truly honest to myself, i felt loneliness deep down in my heart. Nothing fulfill the needs and satisfaction i want in my heart.
Seeing the light, hoping to be save by it from darkness, it is a need to cut off every sin i seen in myself. It is painful, it hurts. But being in the darkness, i craved to reach the light. I am craving to be free from this dreadful darkness. I really hate this world, this fake and dishonest world. People seems to be pretending and nice in outline yet killing each other in the inner side.
Now, the path i have chosen. It might seems to be hard in people's view, friends might even think why are you being such a person? I never regretted, not even single regret for choosing the same path as Jesus Christ, bearing up my cross daily. Physically, i might seems not enjoying the world, or even being controlled and hard to myself. Even so, you'll never know nor understand my happiness unless u choose the same path as me. Though the needs to care on every steps, guard our flesh, control our sin but great comfort is there from Jesus, a comfort which no one can steal it from me. My comfort now, is even better than the comfort world gave me.
Luke 9:23 - Then Jesus said to them all, '' If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me ''
Sometimes it is quite funny in some sense when you suddenly been awaken by God. Looking or had ever hoping at something which doesn't belong to you at first, come on, you ask me why, how can i answer? I was just blind, maybe blind by outward goodness of something, but forgetting the inner part is much more important, which is something only God can give, by grace.
Once again, my post is meant to be thanking God again, being my treasure on this earthen vessels (2 Corinthians 4:7-15). Even though sufferings larr, own troubleness, my commitment, even in friendships and studies, i'm glad nothing from them struck me down. Yes falls or backsliding do have, but i do not afraid of losing God. Because his promise was meant to be strengthen us after we suffered. And noted, we do suffered.
1 Peter 5:10 - But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.
There are just too much friends of mine, being so so so busy and full with activities of fellowship in church, which they think they are pleasing God, but God might not accept what they do!
Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.''
Did it at least gave you and i a sense for urgency for our own spiritual life?
...oh no..i'm just too hard to control my pity and worries for my friends now. What should i do? There are friends who don't know Christ, also friends knowing Christ but yet just merely knowing His existence and not truly spiritual understanding of Him.
No! I know Him! and i want my friends to know My Saviour! Because i'm too clear with God's word, that He said in John 3:18 : ''Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.''
And we know the word ''condemn'' means to be in hell, and hell is real. In Matthew 13:42, means ''They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.''
Also much much more to prove in the Bible(God's word).
We often use man's standard to see God's standard. Thinking man is still fine if we doesn't do much sin. But God's standard is perfectly sinless!! How can man be without sin even one single day?! It is just like a drop of dirtiness fall into a cup of total perfectly pure water, but just by one drop, it could spoil the whole cup of pure water.
We, man sinned. No doubt it is true, and we have no way to escape from this truth!
When we do according to what man teaches, we're just doing what we think to be right before God and what we think He must accept our effort when God doesn't even have to lay a single sight on us - fallen man.
You thought God is your puppet that He should listen and accept everything you gave just because you give??! We should be the one who obey and follow! God is the one with infinite power and we couldn't even explain why we're born, or why are we created.
I just can't hold my wrath when i realize we as man, actually look down so much upon our God! Whom suppose to be our Creator and be worship by us. But now, being forget, reject, ignore or pretend to have no God in our life.
We all pay for things we do. No matter what is reveal or hidden, everything will be expose by God during the day of our judgement to all!
Only those who truly love God wholeheartedly, which means truly treasure God's word(read Bible), treasure what God thinks about us and what He wants us to do to be save by His grace. Instead of self-pride, using own way, the so call fellowship but no emphasize on God's teaching at all, thinking you will surely reach Heaven when you died.
Do remember this! No one know they can or not enter heaven after death, only those who preserve in Christ till the end of his day on earth. Only God knows!
Mark 13:13 ''And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved.
Whenever certain things happened, in suffering, somehow it always turn out to be strengthening me up in Christ instead of losing faith.
Yes, persecution, suffering, struggles, burdens beyond measure, and more in my life. And i thought and doubt of my own faith in Christ before. Thank you God revealing His will to me in 2 Corinthians 4:7-15. We sometimes might be encourage but God can still greatly use us.
Truly, God is the one who choose us before we can say wanting to be with Him. Choosing to be obedient with Him, being forgive, by repent and believe in Jesus Christ as our only Saviour.
Really thank you God allowing me to see His grace in my family, my sister and even my friend's life. He is such an amazing God, His mercy works throughout their life and the way He change their stoned heart to a heart of flesh. The ability He gave to obey his words, and even being able to do what is right before Him, when we are not suppose to be able to do by our own flesh, indeed spirit helps us.
Reminding me not to hide from problems i had but face it to God, and let God rule my life. God always give an answer to my question. Just sometimes patience is needed for the answer. I shall find peace always in my Lord. :)
There are always time that we misunderstand God's purpose on us.
Often things we thought to be okay, but turns out offending God.
Pretending or forecasting out own standard in God's standard, is even the bigger mistake ever!
Till now, i can't imagine i really had thought of something which i shouldn't even be thinking. What am i doing? Am i backsliding again?! No way. This time, i will use all i have, to cut it off me. Not by my own strength alone, but with prayers too of course. Only Holy Spirit of God could strengthen me and preserve me in Christ.
The joy i found in Christ, this time! No way i am letting it go.
By all means, i definitely want to cast out the evil thought from me!
For Him, i believe is the one and only true God in this world. My Lord :)
There has been sometimes since my last update for my blog.
I don't intend to kept it private but rather sharing it out now.
I have no differences with anyone else, me too, am a sinner. Even though i might claim self to be a christian, yet being in our flesh in this world, i still sin. There are just too much things we couldn't control it all by our own. Our heart desire, filthy flesh, lusts of our own flesh, this is just us - sinners.
But God do not please with it.
We desire for freedom. Freedom from family, freedom from works, freedom from studies and even freedom from friends. Well, even if some claims they are not, the best example is most of the teenagers nowadays like drunk. Drinking makes oneself lose control and do whatever they want, in other words - Lose Control.
Then why am i pointing this out in my blog? Because clearly i know even i myself also had the kind of own desire in heart. But the best part is, from today's preaching, i realize, we're actually told in Bible, God wants us to place control over it, if and only if you claims yourself to be a christian.
Galatians 5:17 -For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary the one to the other; so that you cannot do the things that you would.
(and God gave us Holy Spirit to control own desire as we repent and believe in Jesus Christ)
This blog doesn't meant to offend anyone, it is just another way for me to express and share things with peoples around me. I do have my own weaknesses, but i gain my strength always in Jesus Christ.
Just a short post here.
I'm so glad i could join for church's Mentawai (Indonesia) Trip, 1 March-8 March. Not much to say, but I know, without God's grace i wouldn't even get to join in.
By listening to another sermon recently, perhaps it is going to be a prefect timing to learn of ''redeeming the time''. Wasn't just taking most of the time nor fit into every opportunity ahead, but full using the life time we have! Redeeming the time, using our own time as cost to buy up time for our Lord, God.
This truly is a big lesson i had to plan upon for my discipline life and learn about it.
Anyways, will be updating again once i'm back to Malaysia :))
Guidance which given by this world is hunger for immediate, short-term results. It cannot see life in the long-term because it looks at life without the perspective of eternal realities. So, if we follow the world, in which we live, but since in the process of gaining it we shall lose our souls, where is the profit?
By wisdom of this world that men crucified Christ. Same wisdom applies to our lives will crucify afresh the Lord of glory.(Hebrews 6:6)
When Jesus prayed for his disciples, and those who would believe in him through their witness, he said:
Father, I want those you have given to be with me where I
am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me
because you loved me before the creation of the world.
John 17:24
Simply expressed, our Lord recognized that God has a plan for his people ('those you have given me') . Jesus asked that the purpose of his death for us may be fulfilled in us - that we may see the glory and live in his presence.
To live for the glory of God means to imitate Jesus. It means to become familiar with his inner springs which activated all his behaviour, and put these principles into practice in our own lives.
If we do not seek his glory, we cannot be walking in the way of his blessing.
If we seek his glory, then we can be sure that we shall discover his light shed on our paths.
*references to the book written by Sinclair B Ferguson
All my talents and skills are given for a same purpose. I wonder did i took some advantage to balance up what i couldn't do at first, but sometime things just happened not to be a coincidence before God.
Since God is in me and i will be in Him, everything should be fine.
Lots more effort and hardworking needed, to help me understand more of the words of insight in bible, and more strength to resist every temptation towards me. To first resist temptation, i shall not give in attention. Could i really be as clever as serpent but harmless as dove?
I'm so worthless. I know and yet it doesn't mean i will give up my life. It means i live stronger and harder everyday for the one who had save me - Jesus Christ.
''In this world, all man do was just eating, drinking and find satisfy in their work''
Even it is meaningless, daily we still do it, because we are in this world. Man refuse to obey and trusting what God said, giving temptation to the satan, and now this is a world without God.
For a new year to come(2012) nothing is new. We still eat, drink, and find satisfaction in our own work.
Who could say ''see, this is new?'' it has already been in ancient times before us. (Ecclesiates 1:10) The only same truth for everyone, we end with DEATH from this world. Are you going to say life is short, therefore we have enjoy before we die. Sadly, the Truth is, i found no satisfaction in any work.
I am with no strength to save myself, nor do i bring anyone satisfy in my work. I found no satisfaction! Every enjoyment are just for a second, it disappeared after all. Then what do i work for?
We sinned, betrayed and refuse to trusting following God. What can i expect for myself in a world without God?
When the truth came to my mind that we shall all die for we have sinned against God, Jesus Christ came to me saying, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.'' (matthew 11:28)
This rest i have from Jesus Christ is a BIG BIG REST. In my soul and comforting me all the time. I still do the same thing as the world does, but now the only different was christian find satisfy in work for God, not ourselves. For what can i do to bring myself comfort in my work? And this is truly a big big REST for me. For i don't rely on the little strength of mine but the Creator of this world! God-the holy one
Who did not know Salvation had been offer to us by Jesus Christ? When you says you do not know, then here you know, for i'm telling you now.
So much chances opportunity was given to man, bible, pastor's preaching in churches, those who had heard about the True Gospel and True Salvation, what is their reaction?
Do not delay the time of God, the second returning of Jesus Christ as God, the judgement day will come.
When it comes, no one can fools God, we're saved if we get ready now and wait for his coming.
Persistence in doing good, honour and glorified God's name.
(Matthew 25:1-13) - Be the wise ones and not the foolish one, seek for God's grace and ask for salvation, for no one could enter the kingdom of Heaven if the limited time given for repentance ended.
God is long suffering God, for he so love us, giving us second chances to laid faith on Jesus Christ and paid off our sins. Yes God is mercy, but God is fair too. Those who continues in their sin refuses to repent will be cast into the eternal hell and no more grace shall be given from God anymore. Only with tears, gnashing of teeth, weeping and regretting be remain to us in the end.
God is Holy, can't stand any single sin, that's why we have to repent, read His words(bible) and obey his commandments. We ask, it shall be given.
Question: Did you search for God? the only True God.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.''( Matthew7:7 )
No matter what happened, there can always be a new start by God Grace.
Never be too late to trust in Him but always too late for not putting your faith in Him now.
Life been renewing everyday by God. Thou sorrows come when wisdom and knowledge are given more (Ecclesiastes 1:18) and more, but there's never ''regret'' for knowing God.
What's for the next? Working or studying? No matter how much talents i'm lacking of it, i never get frightened anymore. God is the light before me. No darkness could stun me down.
He preserve me ever since i was born, the way He work in me i couldn't understand, but my heart He preserve from the evil one. The great work of his power, i know.
Look! Where's God?
The opportunity for knowing and obey Him are given, but there's limited time.
The door are open for us now, but it will be close when our judgement day comes.
Who dare to say he/she is sinless?
Look around you and found no man remain righteous before God.
Treasures in Heaven.
No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. (Matthew 6:24 )
Today my family celebrated my birthday for me. It was quite early since my birthday was actually on 30 november. But this time it was really a surprise :)
I had always complained to my sister they can't bring out surprise for my birthday because i like surprise. They just not good at it haha. But they even skipped my birthday cake for last year. So sad. Fortunately this time they brought me up with a surprise celebration, because it was really too early and that's why it is totally unexpected to me.
My birthday cake is fruit cake! Compare to chocolate or other favour cake, i really prefer just fruit cake. Fruit cake is just simple and tasty. YUm yUM! Any kind of fruits is fine for me but i just don't like heavy flavour like chocolate. Not hate but just not so like.
I'm always glad God gave me a family. They ain't perfect for every single one of them, but they are the most irreplaceable one for me. Even this birthday were not on time, but i still enjoy a simple and happy birthday celebration. With family is enough for me. I love God and my family.
I love listening to my blog's cover soft music, they just somehow calm my feeling down when ever i was almost bursting out the ''scream'' in my head my mind. Ya, the exam is not easy at all for me. What could i do? i tried my best to study isn't it? I'm just not a science student. But still, somewhere in my mind, just telling me, no u could do better but where is your bigger effort? I'm just tired.
Nothing make a change even i studied. Since the beginning. They really cut of my brave for a certain time. I was afraid to put much more effort as it doesn't make a change. But now, in my mind, even if i did really fail for my exam, i guess it would be okay for me. There are much more things important than just studies.
While i was in the midst of my education, i worries more of my spiritual life. What if i die today? what did i do for my Lord? i was confuse, i was stuck. I doesn't know what to do next. The only thing i know, is to finish reading my bible. Whenever i have a big question mark in my mind, even for now, the only thing i could know is - because u don't know my word. Ya i really doesn't know well of the Lord i trust in except Jesus did die for my sin. I guess i just have to study more of Him and his words.
So when the position of God is much more important than anything in my life, i wasn't afraid to lose anything e.g.studies and result. I'm more afraid of losing God. But God promised us in the bible, when we come to Him, he will never push us away, but just how much effort i give in to meet him?
Conclusion? As you can see, for me, or even for you(whoever you are) , it was better to chase after God than chasing after anything else in this world. Not relationship, not studies, not achievement in your life or what ever you could do just bringing yourself up high upon people, but humble and looking for God for help in our sinful life, look for salvation.
I couldn't fix things right by my own. GOD! Be my Power please!
Had been troubled by so many things around me. Just hoping they won't crash me down, neither do they harm those who i care for. Our heart is just so weak isn't? Every time each problems troubled me, they just teach me how wretched i am and how merciful God is. Well my friends would think i was craping along, or questioning me why do i always seem to grab everything on my head? But they are just not under my choice! Can't you get it? It just simply because we are sinners before God. Once we realize this truth, no one just seems to run away from the truth.
Nothing! nothing on this world will truly satisfy you or thing you wish UNLESS you have salvation from Jesus Christ.
You might think of hiding yourself up doing what you like or enjoying it temporary, just lot's of the activities you could try, but trust me, God has his limits on us! Though God is long suffering, allowing us to have our life now, someday, just one day, all those who is disobeying him will be crash into the eternal hell. You want prove? The whole bible is the Truth.
This is what i learn at least, '' Though Man will Betray Man, But Jesus Christ Never Dump Me ALONE!''
My heart is weak, i know. And my mind isn't strong enough. What else do i need to wish for? I just want to know YOU more, to hold my Faith my Heart my Mind strong enough to bind them with your Words.
Even if they laugh, God you smile. Because it is the only wise choice in your eyes. To be obeying my Creator.
I was blind, but YOU make me see.
My heart was harden than a rock, but YOU soften my heart and have mercy on me.
When friends do not understand YOU, they may critics or laugh as i am a fool. But please have mercy on them, because before i know nothing of YOU, I was even worst. YOU saved me. If they were going to be given mercy from YOU and understand how treasure YOU are, we would have place YOU most high in our heart and praise Your name serve YOU forever!
Before Your mercy on sinners like us, who would have know YOU? No one will be save. And now, thank YOU for giving us Jesus Christ, for now we could redeemed salvation from Him as we obey YOU and preserve till the end while our life on earth. It was given freely to those who BELIEVE and keep it by Faith through Grace in Christ alone! :)
Why do i regret? I did not guard my heart perfectly. Leaking from my deepest little secret hole. It was part of me, inseparable, there is no point regretting. A regret do not turn back time, and as time flies, i will not made a different choice, it would have been the same choice. 
